Well, another day another test I guess. I was all prepared this morning for my car appointment. I have worked from here before, so I had no questions in my mind about my plan. I even made a reminder for myself last night to prepare for it. No need to tell my boss since I can log in from the waiting area. I packed a bag, woke up early. Had books, water, coffee, my laptop with me. I arrived on time, the appointment was scheduled before the service area was busy. I got right in, sat down, ready to log in early. Except there was just one problem, the internet wasn’t connecting.
I tried everything, I asked the front desk man for help. He confirmed that I was using the right password. I connected just fine on my phone. I tried troubleshooting, googling, nothing was working. My mind started to do what it does when my well thought out plans take a left turn. I went up to the front desk again and said, “I’m still unable to connect. Is there another WiFi I can use other than the one for guests.” But he looked back at me unimpressed with my pleading, “I have to use the same one that your using. I’m sorry, I really have no answers for you.” I just replied back, “Well I guess I’ll have to go home then instead of waiting for my car here.” I’m not sure if I came across rude, I’m hoping that I didn’t. I was just thinking out loud. Putting the pieces together. My plan was crumbling and I already planned out my whole morning. I’m frustrated with myself that for some reason I can’t just accept this is happening more elegantly.
My only other option was to leave altogether, my well thought out plans now useless, I’ll get an Uber home. But first I’ll tell the service rep since I originally said I’d be waiting for him to finish the work. I was able to breathe and wait patiently during this part since I had been able to formulate an alternative that encompassed me being able to log in for work. I let him know I’d be leaving since my computer wouldn’t connect, he let me know there was a free shuttle so at least I didn’t have to pay for the inconvenience. This was fine, it all worked out. The shuttle driver was nice, calm. I’m home. Logged in. All is well.
This whole week has been testing my ability to come up against these sudden changes. I’ve noticed I can be rigid in this way, I sometimes get it in my head that things will happen step by step according to what has already unfolded in my head. It’s almost as if I’ve lived the scenario before it’s already happened, so when there are abrupt and sudden changes I have inappropriate reactions.
I’m not sure why I do this, I suppose it could be anxiety. It could be that I have an overactive brain that likes to imagine things I’ll be doing. Doesn’t everyone? I wonder if this is common, if this is something that people just do. Mentally act out a scenario down to the finest detail and then execute. I suppose if I think about it further, it doesn’t always end with me panicking. It’s only when I come up on a huge roadblock I didn’t anticipate that I can’t resolve without changing the entire plot that gets me going. But my life isn’t a story I’m making up, I can’t control life’s hiccups. Is that the lesson here? No matter how detailed I write out the scenario, there are other writers who will interfere.
The Girl Without A Face 
4 responses to “Plot Twist”
Actually, I think your reaction to the inconvenience was appropriate. Okay, maybe you could have not made the comment to the person at the front desk about going back home, but, as you said, it was only a comment. Laptops and such help with multitasking, which was what you did by attempting to do your work while out of your normal environment for your work. However, to avoid anxiety, I would have left my work at home. But then, I avoid multitasking at all cost.
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That actually makes a really interesting point I had never thought of, multitasking could be at the root of a lot of these moments. I try to fit in way too much and then when something happens and I can’t fit it all in I feel like im failing at accomplishing everything I set out to accomplish. That is so interesting! Have you always avoided multitasking? Do you find yourself more at ease because of it?
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I’ve always avoided the multitask phenomena. Instead, I create blocks of time for almost everything. When the end of one of those blocks stares me in the face, I go on to my next task of the day. Quick phone calls and errands aren’t included, but I won’t let they get in the way of my daily route of blocks either. Also, there’s a lot in life, in my opinion, that falls in the category of being trivia and not worth bothering with. I’m picky about the battles of life I choose to take part on.
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I like that idea, I’m sure it helps to stay fully present in the moment and not stressed about what’s next too. Thank you for sharing!
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