You may or may not know this already, but sometimes I struggle with the concept of connection. I feel lonely sometimes, but not when I’m by myself. Or with my son. I feel lonely around other people. I feel misunderstood. But the past couple of days have been very intriguing, it’s made me wonder how deep this connection thing really goes. I love the concept that we are all connected. I like the idea that we are linked by thoughts.
The odd thing is the past few days I’ve had three separate examples of my thoughts becoming precursors for my reality. This has been a theme so much so that I’m now posting about the synchronicities I’ve experienced. Ultimately, it made me smile this morning. Maybe there’s no need to feel lonely at all. Yes, we are alone on our journey, but at the same time we’re all connected as one. We all have a unique experience, yet many people can relate to our specific journey because of the similarities to their own. Alone in the details, connected as one overall. There is a lesson somewhere in there I haven’t quite worked out.
Anyways, let’s start with what I wrote about yesterday. I was triggered by thinking I saw my ex, thought of my oldest friend, BAM. She reached out out of nowhere. An S.O.S through thought perhaps? Ok, you’re not convinced. Yesterday, I was talking to my sister through voice messages in text (don’t ask). We have a lot to say but also don’t want the restriction of a call. It works perfectly for us. We’re both weirdos after all. Anyways, as an afterthought to my two separate seven minute messages, I sent her a P.S. I don’t know why I did, I just wanted to let her know the random thoughts I had while jewelry making I guess. They were about our Dad, and it was almost like something happening in the future, not the past. Her response was quick and just 54 seconds, “I have chills everywhere”, she said. She went on to say she had those same thoughts that morning, but didn’t feel compelled to bring them up to me. She was almost speechless, maybe a little scared by the tone in her voice. What does it mean that we were involuntarily thinking the same thing? Seemingly out of nowhere. If nothing else, it’s interesting.
I went on about my day, and last night I could NOT get that guy off my mind. The one I secretly have a crush on at the gym, I won’t even tell my friend I like him. I don’t really know why, other than it feels private to me. She has told me about her crush, and it’s escalated the past couple of weeks. I’m excited for her, but I still keep mine to myself. I told myself last night I had to let it go, he probably doesn’t even know I exist. Plus, something felt off last week about him, something I can’t explain. It’s like I can feel his energy shift without even knowing his name. So this morning, what happens? My friend calls. The first thing she says? “Why can’t he just DM me and get it over with”. She’s tortured by this, and so am I silently. I tell her how odd it is because I’ve been thinking about this stuff on my end. “About who?!” She says. “Oh, no one in particular”. Still somethings in the air, and both of us can feel it. “Something feels different about him, you have to scope it out with me this week”, she says. How ironic. I’ve been thinking the same thing, I just haven’t said it out loud about my crush to her.
The point is, without knowing it, these three interactions made me feel more connection than I can explain. It’s like I was sharing thoughts with these three separate people, telepathically letting them know what I’m thinking. Of course I don’t know what this means, it could mean absolutely nothing. Or it could mean this is the answer to my loneliness. That I’m never really alone, look how connected I am by just sharing these thoughts. Maybe I wanted to write this out as a document that these little things have happened. I wonder what will happen next, this is what makes life so exciting.
The Girl Without A Face 