I’m at that point in a trip where you start to say, “Oh shit, let me evaluate my finances”. And I’ll just say one thing, thank God for credit. I’m not the best with money, please don’t do what I do, I’m no David Ramsey (that’s his name right?) See I don’t even know him really. I have ideas in my mind about what I should do, and how I can make it right, and how I can justify the spending. I try not to get too worried in the process, I try to trust that it will all come back to me. The thing is I’d love to pay off my credit card debt, and after this trip I think that’ll be my focus. Again, I’m in sales so it’s possible for me to make the money needed to do that. It’s also possible for me to have to rely on just my base this year. It’s just the nature of the business. But the longer I’m here, the more I realize how blessed I really am. In fact, I don’t really understand how I was blessed with this comfortable home, job, life, and some were granted the complete opposite. Does it really only come down to choices? There has to be so many more factors to it.
I remember the last time I visited this area was five years ago. My friend and I at the time went together on a whim. It was almost my 30th birthday and she was flying to Sacramento for a work trip. She asked me if I wanted to tag along and of course I said yes without thinking. After the fact I lined up a babysitter for my son for 3 nights and 4 days so we could have a wild trip. We fit an INSANE amount in. I flew into Sacramento and we drove to San Fran. I had been there before, but it is something to see and worth the trip again. We got a few hours sleep and then drove the full length (I believe 7 or 8 hours) down highway one, or Big Sur, to L.A. Insane driving, especially for someone with driving anxiety. But like I said, that’s how you conquer a fear. Anyways, we fit in all the things in two days. We had gone to Venice Beach, where I brought my son yesterday, went to the Hollywood sign. We even took several professional dance classes in between. It was wild. The point is with this trip something major has changed. There are tents now set up in a row on the beach. Tents set up on the way to Hollywood Boulevard. Tents where we are staying, not to mention Skid Row is just a few blocks away. For the most part we weren’t approached, although one time I was. I have to give it to the guy though, with his sales skills I’d hire him in a second. Too bad I knew better than to get out my wallet. There were a couple times walking along Venice Beach I could sense someone walking very closely behind me, when I glanced back it was someone who was clearly living there, staring. Following. I’d have my son move over to the other side, part of me feeling badly, part of me scared. The problem is what is someone capable of when there isn’t anything to lose? I’d love to be able to talk to them and ask them how they got there. But I know better than that, and I can feel their stares. Sometimes it makes my stomach drop the aggression that lives behind their eyes.
I mentioned we are staying fairly close to Skid Row, no not right next to it. You can’t see it. But it is a decent walk away, a five minute drive. At our hotel you probably don’t want to go walking at night. I’ve had to learn how and where to park my car, several lots will not allow you to park overnight and the hotel itself charges you a $50 fee to have the safety and security of their lot if you are staying as a guest. I found a lot easy one night, the second I failed and had to spend the money. The third I learned, I downloaded an app. Found a lot a few blocks away. Spent $8 on a garage, we’ll be walking there to get the car this morning. But my son and I are back at the hotel before the sun goes down, this piece of information is important. The valet guy let us know this as well, we don’t want to be caught out walking at night.
So last night when we got back in the safety of our hotel I was processing the images I saw. The woman sitting in her tent on the side of Hollywood Boulevard. The man in a trench coat and pink top hat that was following us. The man that was seemingly talking to a crowd, but in reality talking to himself. It made me think first how lucky I am to have such problems as worrying about my credit card balance. How trivial that is. How lucky I am to even be able to take this trip in the first place. Then I was thinking about them. How little they have. How uncomfortable it must be. Do they get scared? Are they lonely? Do they even know where they are, how they got there? Are they really all on drugs, or is it just bad luck? Mental illness? Could anyone get to that point with just a few wrong turns? Why isn’t there something in place to help them? Maybe there is? It was just so jarring to see the excess all around us while there were so many people lying in the streets with nothing. Most people walking by disgusted. Not even looking at them, treating them as if they weren’t human. What happened to their families? How did they end up on the streets? Did they choose that life or did it just happen that way? How can there be so many people who have so much, and so many people with nothing? It just feels like we’re all playing a game they’ve opted out of and they are somehow still surviving in the streets.
The Girl Without A Face 