Well, we made it to L.A. and I have to say I am much calmer already even though we are going to an amusement park today. I was so impressed with myself yesterday, I drove the 4 hour drive without stopping. I felt great the whole time. Driving used to be something that would cause incredible amounts of anxiety for me, but it is a good example of something I’ve forced myself to do over and over and over again until it feels like nothing. That’s really how you conquer a fear after all. Just face it as many times as you have to until it goes away. Sounds fun doesn’t it?
So I decided that’s what I’m going to look at this whole trip as, growth. Even the piece in Vegas. I can look back and say, “Wow, I did that”. I can also say, “Look, there was nothing to be afraid of”. My sister sent me a really nice message I listened to yesterday after we got here safely. She said something along the lines of mistakes will be made. You will face delays, challenges. How you react is where the growth is. How you figure out the problem is your education. Street smarts is what I’m re-learning. It is so important for me to hone this skill and get comfortable with it. Mainly because one of my dreams is to travel the world. And I simply can’t do that if I’m constantly anxious about going anywhere. So I’m facing my fears, all of them. I’m building my resilience. I’m showing myself there is nothing to be afraid of. Most of all I’m showing myself that I can do it without help. Not that my son isn’t helpful, but man is it different to be the only adult in the room. You’re aware of everything that could go wrong. I’m learning how to be aware of that and still be able to have fun. Maybe master the art of observation? Either way, being out of Vegas and having time to really think on the drive has given me a new lease on my purpose for this trip. Good thing we still have a week left.
So today we are driving an hour away to go ride on Rollercoasters. Something I wouldve loved to do as a teenager, but as an adult I get incredibly anxious in line. Today I’m going to try to tell myself how fun it is. How excited I am. I’m going to try to trick my mind. As I sit here comfortably its working great, I have no anxiety, I’m ready for the day. Stay tuned to see if I’m able to shift my mindset successfully with just the thoughts I’m having myself think. Wouldn’t it be great if life was that easy? I don’t know. Maybe it could be.
The Girl Without A Face 