The great resignation. The great realization. The great restart. I don’t necessarily like to hop on trends, and I suppose I am a bit late given it’s July 2022, but after almost 15 years at one company I too will soon be joining the great resignation. I won’t be leaving without a plan, and it wasn’t necessarily because I wanted to or that I hated my actual job or the people I manage. It was many little things over a long period of time. It was realizing just how much that I was just a number after all. All the years, all the stress, all the passion that I’ve flowed into each role. Wanting to ignite change for the better for this massive corporation that is flooded with red tape above me. All around me. It’s burnt out my flame over time. Used up all my fire. It’s eaten me alive and then wanted more. So I quietly realized that enough was enough and I asked myself what I wanted. I asked myself what was important to me, what I liked about the many positions I’ve held over the last 15 years. I contemplated where I would go next and through the process I eliminated some of the candidates I was considering, not the other way around. You see, what most employers haven’t yet realized is that employees are interviewing them now. More than the employer is interviewing the employee. Especially if you have proven to have loyalty, proven you’ve worked hard. You are able to have a say. So I said why not? Why continue to allow this one mega corporation use me and bleed me dry when there were plenty others who would appreciate skills. Why was I staying? What was I remaining loyal to?
I started to realize in my final search that has resulted in a job offer today (just need to get the finalized touches before I make it official to my current employer – I can’t even allow myself to get too excited until I shut that laptop for the last time) that a job is nothing more than a business transaction. Your time in return for their money. So in my current role when work is being dumped on me with no forewarning and there is no solid communication and no insight into the future plans of how we can improve the current state of affairs, it made me wonder – why would I stay on a ride that I have no control over? Why would I stay on a ride that I do not enjoy? It’s not like I would go to an amusement park and ride a Rollercoaster, hate it, and then get off and say, “Well I guess sign me up for 50 more rides on that one”. No – I would find a different ride that I enjoyed more. A job should be the same, but I was taught that loyalty meant something. That loyalty would get me somewhere. What I’ve realized is that I’ve just been ignoring the root problem, the actual company, this whole time. That while I moved positions within the company because I was being treated unfairly, or workload was being piled on with no extra pay, etc. I never actually blamed the company. I blamed the individuals. What I’ve realized is that toxic people become toxic when they are living, breathing, working in a toxic environment. That maybe, just maybe, if I decided to get off the ride I would be much happier.
I guess only time will tell. For today, I will celebrate that I am one step closer to leaving all forms of abuse in my past. Taking the leap, and realizing that loyalty doesn’t have to be given to anyone or anything that doesn’t deserve it.
The Girl Without A Face 